I Can’t Keep Up

I’m running a newsletter and trying to write a book and also living in this hurting world, and it’s a lot.

I was working on a really good post for you this week, aunties. The title is, “How to Accept Help,” and the tagline is, “It’s the most elusive skill of all — and it’s also a radical political act.” I’m excited. I think you will like it. But it’s not even close to ready to publish yet, and it’s already two days late getting out to you (according to me), and my brain is cooked and can write no more. “How to Accept Help” is hereby officially postponed.[[1]]

The reason I didn’t finish my assignment this week is that I’ve also been ramping up production on another assignment, which is this book proposal I’m working on. The working title is The Auntie Manual, real creative!

I always think about early pregnancy when I mention my book proposal in public. Forgive me if you’ve heard this one. Usually, people don’t announce their pregnancy until they’re into the second trimester because the risk of miscarriage goes down a lot at that point, and the logic is, they don’t want to tell everyone they’re pregnant and then have to tell everyone they lost the pregnancy. When I was pregnant — four times — I started telling people as soon as I found out. I lost all four pregnancies, and I told people about that, too.

I don’t know, I’m just a discloser.[[2]] I can’t not tell people what’s occupying my attention, and right now this book proposal is occupying my attention. Usually, people don’t announce that they’re working on a book until they’ve sold it to a publisher, the logic being that they don’t want to tell everyone they’re working on a book and then have to tell everyone they didn’t get a book deal. I guess if I don’t get a book deal, I’ll tell you about that, too.

For what it’s worth, though, I’m confident The Auntie Manual is happening. People like this newsletter, people like the book idea, my agent (who I love) is very encouraging (which admittedly is part of why I love her), multiple editors are interested, and I just have a lot of faith in what we’re doing here together. The world needs auntie books. The world craves alloparental content. I don’t feel like I’m writing on spec when I’m working on this book proposal; I just feel like I’m doing my job — in the mundane sense and also the existential sense.

But so trying to publish The Auntie Bulletin and propose The Auntie Manual at the same time is a lot. I’ve tried a combination of alternating between higher lift posts (original essays) and lower lift posts (interviews, guest posts, care packages)[[3]] so that, in the low-lift weeks, I can focus on the book proposal. I’m still technically doing that, although shifting gears each week has led to a lot of gear-grinding. I’ve tried — repeatedly and at length — being in denial that something’s gotta give, which has the advantage of being easy but the disadvantage of getting me nowhere. More recently, I’ve been trying working on the book first thing and then switching to the newsletter later in the day, which is great for progress on the book but not quite as great for progress on The Auntie Bulletin.

I feel like I should do something else here before signing off, like offer some wise reflections on Cornell (I have no words) or the Nikole Hannah-Jones editorial in The New York Times (read this), or try to convince you to upgrade to a paid Auntie Bulletin subscription (how? based on what?) or ask you to pre-order my book (LOL, pre-orders coming your way in 2028) or at least point you to some relevant past posts or something. Okay, let’s do that.[[4]]

How to Rest

Uncomfortable truths that you probably won’t like, from someone who’s been forced to rest a lot. Rest! It’s the best! Or at any rate, rest would be the best if it weren’t so stupidly hard to pull off. Sure, it’s hard to carve out the

The Auntie BulletinLISA SIBBETT

Auntiehood is the Real “Having It All”

An auntie reflects on providing intensive childcare during the pandemic, and why ‘having it all’ might actually describe Aunties, not working parents.

The Auntie BulletinLISA SIBBETT

Thanks for bearing with me, aunties. Thanks for reading this newsletter. I’m glad you’re here. I’ll be more coherent next time, probably.

Nothing Sold, Bought, or Processed

The Auntie Bulletin is an ad-free, feminist, anti-capitalist publication that will never try to sell you anything and donates 100% of revenue from Bookshop.org affiliate links to organizations supporting vulnerable kids.

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[[1]]: “How to Accept Help” won’t be out right away, because I have a bunch of other excellent content lined up for you over the next several Fridays. Feel free to upgrade to a paid subscription now, though, and you won’t have to worry about any pesky paywalls when it’s time to read about the radical politics of letting others have your back.

[[2]]: I’m good at keeping other people’s secrets, but that’s mostly because I immediately forget anything anyone ever tells me. A silver lining of long COVID, I guess?

[[3]]: I always think interviews and guest posts and care packages are going to be lower lifts, but a lot of times they’re actually not.

[[4]]: This is what happens when I try to write with a cooked brain. I’ve devolved into narrating my decisions in real time. I’m this close to just sending you a post called “Random Musings,” and it’s about what I had for breakfast.